uhhuh Hey Beautiful --- ---
In my eyes
you are gorgeous

"You just gotta appreciate everything, and that's one of the most important things in life. Just really appreciating it because you know, we only get to do this once and it's not for a long time, so enjoy it." - Jay Moriarity

My name is Jessica but you can call me Jess or any other nickname you can think of...

The great ocean road , maybe ?its really beautiful, and very cold atm. Just be careful. Know where you can swim and where you can't. Yeah sounds creepy but what evs. :)
another-failed-saxophonist

Haha I live in mauritius I had to watch the ocean floor so I’m good ;)

qvbit:

anomolisticbeauty:

malgosh:

moshita:

Anecdotes by medical practitioners 

"A woman came in for a baby check with her 6-month-old and she had what looked like chocolate milk in the baby’s bottle. So he started explaining to her as kindly as he could that she shouldn’t be giving her baby chocolate milk. At which point she interrupts him and says, ‘Oh that isn’t chocolate milk. It’s coffee! He just loves it!”

"I had a patient come in for an STD check. She was very upset and continued to tell me that she only had one partner. Progressing through my assessment, she further divulged that even if he was sleeping with other people it shouldn’t matter ‘because he uses a condom every time and he makes sure to wash it thoroughly after every use’.”

"Had a lady who measured her baby’s temperature by pre-heating the oven and putting one hand in front of it while the other hand was on the baby’s forehead. She told the nurse her baby’s fever was about 250 degrees.”

"Lady has to have foot amputated and is given waiver forms to sign pre-op. Buddy asks if she needs time to think about it. She’s very nonchalant and doesn’t seem to care much what they do. He gets suspicious and probes a bit as to why she’s not more concerned. She says she gets that they have to operate and it’s OK because the foot will grow back.”

"I had a couple who had been trying to conceive for over two years. I asked all the usual questions, how often do you have sex, any previous pregnancy, etc etc. Something seemed off to me during the consult, so I continued to ask questions. Finally I asked if he ejaculated while inserted into the vagina. Both parties looked confused.Turns out the couple was not having insertional sex at all. I had to awkwardly explain to them how insertional sex works. Diagrams were required.”

"Patient comes in, she’s upset. She’s pregnant, and she doesn’t understand why. She’s on the pill. Upon talking to her at great length, I find out that she only takes the pills on the days that she is sexually active – no other time.”

"Patient comes in with her bf. They are indignant, as if somehow I could’ve prevented [the pregnancy]. The problem? Well, the pills were bothering the girl’s stomach, so, being a gallant bf, he decided to start taking them instead.”

I was explaining the treatment to the husband of a patient about to be discharged. He kept nodding and agreeing with me, but I knew it was flying over his head. Turned out a fundamental problem was that I was describing the drugs as ‘tablets’ and he had no clue what those were.

Reddit thread 

Hahah

Oh my god… I can’t decide if I should laugh or cry…

i’m cryign jesus fucking christ sex and childcare and general health education needs to be improved thousand fold 

Hey Dalton! Has anyone ever asked you to cover that song you wrote when you were 4? ;D I think it'd be hilarious to see older you doing that, even the little "that's it" at the end
plunderyourcaveofwonders

thisisdaltonsusername:

Oh my god that’d be hilarious

pinkifingers:

john-egberts-floating-arms:

rick-sanchez:

camiekahle:

THIS IS THE BEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

I’VE BEEN TRYING TO FIND THIS FOR SEVEN YEARS

DO YOU UNDERSTAND HOW HARD IT IS TO ?????

I’m fucking dying

That last fatal scream tho

butterfly-to-survive:

Micky not Nicki

I really don’t know how else to title this. I just wanted to make a fool our of Knoche. I think I did a pretty good job. 😜

simmerdownclifford:

this is the cutest thing i’ve ever seen

The actual zodiac signs

fabulink:

Aries: really fucking arrogant
Taurus: bossy as fuck
Gemini: two-faced spawn of satan
Cancer: kinda nice and cries a lot
Leo: talks way too much
Virgo: overanalyzes everything
Libra: probably hella boring
Scorpio: has a collection of knives
Sagittarius: keep your opinions to yourself
Capricorn: lucifer’s servant
Aquarius: hella weird and judgemental
Pisces: way naive and probably gay

I know I haven’t been active but I am in South Africa (woo hoo) because I am moving to Australia :D YAYYYY

I promise I will be more active once I get to Australia (two to three weeks more tops) so pleaseeee hang in with me here

tonyabbot:

when someone talks to me irl

image

when someone talks to me on tumblr

image

sherlockspeare:

Toothless in 221B

wildeir:

teenagedirtbagb4by:

reverzed:

0yster:

So why is one considered ‘inappropriate’ and the other accepted? Stop sexualising my body. 

I wonder this too. Why is it a man’s breast and nipple are okay to show but a woman’s breast and nipple isn’t.

fave wow

best thing to reblog yet

it’s funny because every time I reblog this I lose at least one follower who seems offended by a nipple

gettin-nakie-outside:

equiroz:

A tiger walks into a liquor store…there’s no punchline here.

Is that… a frisbee?

I guess I’m old fashioned

- i think relationships should be taken seriously

- sex isn’t everything

- manners are always attractive

- caring about grades is attractive too

- chivalry is a plus

- saying “please” and “thank you” will blow my mind

- break ups shouldn’t be often and when they are they aren’t taken lightly 

crockercorpjanecrocker:

kitkat808:

starkspangly:

WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON

OMFG my teacher just showed us this in death and dying class

what the fuck kinda school have death and dying class
what the fuck death and dying classs

viwan themes
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